Hope My Boyfriend Don't Mind It
by flylikeadcriss
Summary: In which Blaine is a dealer, Hummel gets some, and Kurt and Blaine may or may not own a tape of questionable nature. Kurt discovers that New Directions has an underground market for one particular good, and that Blaine is in on it too. Set during 03x07


**Just a short story I've been wanting to do since December and finally got around to... I don't own Glee. **

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><p>Kurt, after giving up on finding Blaine before Glee and deciding to just walk there by himself, entered the choir room talking.<p>

"Has anybody see Blaine? Because—" He stopped short at the sight before him.

Blaine, along with all the other male members of Glee club, were huddled together in the corner, looking up at Kurt in shock.

"What's going on?" Kurt asked. Blaine shook his head and stuffed something into his pocket, but Kurt didn't fail to see that it was money.

"Nothing!" Blaine said, smiling. "Hey Kurt! I couldn't find you so I just came here—"

"What's going on?" Kurt asked again, walking over towards their huddle.

"Nothing," Puck repeated, looking guilty. Kurt raised an eyebrow at them, then his eyes widened.

"Oh God," he moaned, bringing a hand up to cover his eyes in despair. "Are you dealing drugs? I swear, Blaine, you're at public school for three months—"

"I'm not dealing drugs!" Blaine denied quickly.

"Like I'd ever let him get away with trying to compete with me," Puck snorted.

"Seriously," Finn said. "We were just talking."

Kurt reached out and nimbly plucked the bills out of Blaine's pocket.

"Seriously," he said, holding them up. "What's going on?"

A flash of silver caught his eye as Mike hid something behind his back.

"We're planning your surprise birthday party?" he said unconvincingly.

"My birthday is in May," Kurt pointed out. "Mike, what's behind your back?" The warning look Blaine was giving Mike didn't escape his notice.

Mike bit his lip and edged away from Kurt as subtly as possible.

"Oh, for—" Kurt said, then grabbed Mike's arm and pulled it out in front of him to reveal a DVD.

"You're selling people DVDs?" Kurt asked, glancing at Blaine. "What, are you pirating movies now?"

"No," Blaine assured him. Suddenly Kurt gasped.

"Blaine, you promised that nobody would ever see that video!" he hissed, but not quietly enough. A loud chorus of voices responded.

"Get some, Hummel!"

"Dude, why would I _buy _that?"

"Oh, God, is that why you had to borrow the A/V club's video camera?"

"No!" Kurt cried, turning bright red. "That's not what I meant!"

"Then what did you mean?" Mike asked, raising his eyebrows. Kurt cleared his throat and looked back down at the DVD.

"So what is this?" he asked awkwardly, turning it over. Then he noticed the words written on the other side. In Sharpie. In Blaine's handwriting. Blaine sighed heavily and sank down into a chair. Rory patted his back comfortingly.

_I Kissed A Girl. _

Kurt thought back to the day before, and the girls' performance that all the straight guys had liked so much. He and Blaine had been the only ones that weren't too hormonal to think of filming it. And later that afternoon, Blaine had asked Kurt to send him the video from his cell phone, so he had both of them.

Kurt moaned in despair and collapsed into the chair beside Blaine.

"Oh my God," he said. "My boyfriend is a soft-core pornography dealer."

"Well, if you want to make it sound bad…" Puck muttered. "Dude, it's just a performance!"

"Yeah," Blaine said defensively. "Rachel pays you to film all her solos, doesn't she?"

Kurt glared at him.

"I think that her motives for wanting those videos are quite a bit different than theirs," he said. "Is this a side business you've got going that I didn't know about?"

"No," Blaine said immediately. The other guys shook their heads sympathetically. "It's just that we filmed it, and they noticed and asked me after if they could have the video, and I realized that they really wanted it so I made them pay me—"

"At least he's got their tape to get through the next few weeks," Artie said optimistically.

"If such a tape _theoretically_ existed," Kurt said, now fixing his glare on Artie. "It would be immediately destroyed, because God only knows who it might get sold to."

"He'd still have 4 Minutes and Single Ladies," Rory pointed out. Blaine smacked him on the arm and gave him a _Shut-up-now _look, but it was too late.

"He's got _what_?" Kurt hissed. Blaine coughed awkwardly and looked around at the boys for help.

"Well, Santana and Brittany were telling Blaine all about your awesome performances before he met you," Mike began. "Because you have awesome performances. You should get more solos. Don't you think he should get more solos, Blaine?"

Blaine nodded enthusiastically, obviously glad for a way to suck up to Kurt a little.

"And?" Kurt prompted.

"And…" Artie continued apprehensively. "Well, Mercedes and Tina had tapes of 4 Minutes and Single Ladies, and Blaine wanted to, um, be able to appreciate your talents?"

Puck snorted. Kurt turned on Blaine.

"You bought videos of my performances?" he asked, raising an eyebrow dangerously.

"Well… Yeah," Blaine admitted. "They were really good."

"The singing was good? Or the other part?" Kurt pressed.

"Dude," Artie said sympathetically. "There is no right answer to that question."

"Nice knowing you, man," Mike added, nodding somberly.

"Um." Blaine looked panicked. "Both?"

Kurt was silent for a long moment. Then he stood up.

"Come on," he said, holding out his hand.

"What?" Blaine asked, looking confused, taking his hand. Kurt hauled him up out of the chair.

"Yeah, what?" Finn echoed, frowning.

Kurt turned to the rest of the boys.

"If you don't want me to tell the girls about this," he said. "You're going to tell Mr. Shue that Blaine and I felt sick and went home."

"Where are we going?" Blaine asked, looking like he was afraid that Kurt was going to take him outside and kill him where there were no witnesses. Then he noticed the look on Kurt's face. "Oh."

"Come on," Kurt repeated impatiently, dragging Blaine behind him.

"See you," Blaine called, waving at the guys, unable to keep the grin off his face.

He and Kurt reached the door and exited, leaving behind a stunned silence with the exception of Puck's call of "Get some, Anderson!"

After a moment, Rory cleared his throat awkwardly.

"At least they left the video," he said, holding up the disc that Kurt had tossed into one of the plastic chairs as they left.

Then Mr. Shue entered, and Rory shoved the DVD into his bag.

"I just saw Kurt and Blaine leaving," he said, frowning. "Anybody know where they're going?"

"They got sick," Mike said quickly.

"Really sick," Puck added. "Stomach flu, I think."

Mr. Shue shook his head, obviously trying not to think about how Blaine and Kurt had gotten stomach flu at the exact same time while the rest of the club had not.

"Okay," he said. "Well, I saw the girls on their way here, so we should be able to get started in a minute."

That was when Tina entered the room, frowning when she saw Mike.

"You were supposed to meet me by your classroom," she said. "Why'd you come here so early?"

Mike glanced around desperately. Luckily, Artie was quick to catch on.

"You really should get more solos, Tina," he said. "Mike, don't you think she should get more solos?"

Mike nodded reverently.

"Definitely," he said. Tina's frown immediately turned into a smile, and she sat down beside Mike and took his hand happily, not noticing the look of extreme relief on Mike's face.

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><p><strong>By the way, Kurt makes Blaine use the money to take him to Breadstix. So it's kind of a win for everyone. <strong>

**I've noticed that when they're not kissing each other's girlfriends, those guys are all very supportive wingmen.**


End file.
